Turning Tables
by leilaniwritesthings
Summary: Dan has always been a prankster, the "prank king" if you will, but after a Halloween prank, Dan is forced to admit that sometimes goes a little too far.
1. Chapter 1

Turning Tables

Chapter 1

 **AN: ALL OF THIS IS FICTION, except for the names of the characters "Dan, Phil, Zoe and Alfie" as well as the physical attributes of them. I MADE IT ALL UP, BECAUSE I AM CREATIVE AF… Obviously this includes the address of their Flat and what Dan's voice message says. I have no way of knowing what they really are. Haha. Please be nice, as this is my first PHANFIC! I will try and upload a chapter every Wednesday night. If there are any fact checks you notice, please let me know! :)**

 **Also, there is no smut or lemon of any kind until Ch.4. Be patient, perverts. ;)**

31/10 (Halloween)

Dan and Phil's Flat

7:50 PM

Phillip Michael Lester was adjusting the ears of the hat of his Lion costume. His overgrown black fringe stuck out of the bottom of the cap that rested on his forehead. His blue eyes contrasted well with the marigold color of the costume.

Phil and his flat mate, Daniel Howell, were on their way to a Halloween party hosted by Zoe Sugg and Alfie Days. Phil looked at the clock on his bedside table. It read 6:50. The party started at 8:00. It took roughly an hour and a half via the A-line to get from London to Brighton. Phil hated being late, especially to parties. He thought it was rude, but Dan had told him at least one hundred times, six of those times being just today, that no one ever showed up to a party on time; that it was better to be late and rude than on time and lame.

Dan had finally compromised with Phil earlier that they would leave at 7:00 on the dot, and, providing that the tube was running relatively on schedule, they would arrive at the party at around a little after 8:30, making Phil relieved that they wouldn't be the last ones there, and soothing Dan's social anxiety of being the first ones there.

"Dan, are you almost ready, yet?" emerging from his own personal bathroom into his bedroom. He wanted to make sure he had everything, and he was very grateful to have discovered that the costume he had rented from the shop had pockets. He gathered his phone, his ID card, keys, money, and metro card and stuck them all into the pockets of the costume. It made him look a bit bulky and awkward, but it would have looked even more awkward if he carried a bag.

Phil did not hear Dan answer, so he called again, louder. "Dan?! Let's go! You promised we could leave at 7:00." Still no answer from Dan. Phil let out a long sigh and headed down the hallway towards Dan's room. The door was not shut all the way, so it gave way and swung open when Phil knocked on it.

"Dan?" Phil called out. No answer. Had Dan left already? While Phil would not be surprised, (Dan had unintentionally left for events without Phil a few times just out of habit. "Auto pilot" Dan called it) he could not help but feel a little hurt. Dan had said they would leave at 7:00 and take the A-Line together, and he knew that Phil hated taking it alone, especially at nights for long periods of time.

Phil pulled out his phone from the left pocket of his costume, and checked the time again. 7:02. Feeling disgruntled and confused, he unlocked his phone, and dialed Dan's number. His phone was turned off, and Phil was greeted immediately by Dan's voice message: "Hey, uh, you've reached Dan the Existential Crisis Man. Sorry I can't answer your call. I'll call you back when it's all over." Typical Dan. Always with the existential crises.

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Phil stuck the phone back in his pocket, left Dan's room and went back down the hallway towards the kitchen. He took the bag of candy he and Dan had bought for the party, tucked it under his arm and made his way towards the front door. Then, he heard a shuffling sound coming from the bathroom across the hall back down by Dan's room.

He heard it again, louder, and then heard the opening of the bathroom door. Almost immediately after, he saw a dark figure emerge from the bathroom, and scurry into Dan's room. The door to Dan's room opened and slammed with force, making Phil jump and squeal.

"Dan?" Phil called down the hallway. No answer. Feeling terrified, he pulled out his phone once again, as well as set the candy back on the counter top. He dialed "999" on his phone. He also went to the kitchen, and grabbed the first knife he saw which, to his relief, a big butcher knife was the one he had grabbed.

"999, Emergency please?" said the operator on the other end.

"Hi, my name is Phillip Lester. Telephone is 020 7946 0986, address is 2824 Brook Road, number 906. I think there is an intruder in my flat." He said this very quietly, so that the intruder did not hear him.

"Does the front door look broken into, sir?" the operator asked.

Phil walked over to the door, and inspected it. It appeared to be intact.

"No ma'am" Phil said to the operator.

"Okay, sir. Are there any other people who live in the flat with you? Or any pets we should know about?"

"No pets, but I have a flat mate. His name is Daniel Howell, but he is not home at the moment." Phil told the operator.

Phil had actually forgotten about Dan for a split second. Had he come in contact with the intruder outside? Phil quickly tried to push that thought from his mind.

"Okay, sir, thank you for that information. What leads you to believe that there is an intruder, sir?" said the operator

"I hear weird noises, and I'm almost positive that I saw a figure emerging from the bathroom and into my flat mate's bedroom."

"Are you sure it is not your flat mate, sir?" the operator asked.

Phil hadn't thought about that. He supposed it could be possible. He had no idea where Dan was at the moment, and Dan _did_ have a history of pranking Phil. However, Phil knew Dan wouldn't go this far, so he pushed that thought out of his mind as well.

"Sir, are you still with me?" the operator said.

"Erm, yeah, sorry," Phil said, "No, Dan isn't here, I am sure of it."

"Okay, sir please stay on the line for me, and please do not try to go towards the intruder in case he is armed, okay?"

Phil had heard the command and even answered with a "Yes ma'am", but both thoughts of Dan were not leaving his mind no matter how hard he tried to push. He and Dan were both tall, but neither were fighters. Dan would have had no way to protect himself. Playing video games on their gaming channel were the only combat practice either of them got.

With one hand holding the phone, and the other one holding the knife, Phil mustered up all the courage he had and slowly made his way back down the hallway towards Dan's room.

Phil began to play out all the different scenarios in his head. There were three.

The first one, and the option Phil sincerely hoped it was, was that his mind was playing tricks on him, and that this was all just an illusion. A combination of the added spookiness of it being Halloween, and Phil's natural sensitive and paranoid state were taunting him, and there was no real threat. While, of course, it would be annoying, and he would feel guilty for calling "999" without there being a real emergency, it was the best of the three.

If the intruder _was,_ in fact, Dan, Phil would not know what to think. His flat mate _was_ prone to pranks. Dan had made several "prank" and "dare" videos, where he tricked and scared Phil all the time. However, that was the extent of Dan's pranks: hiding in cupboards, prank calls, hiding Phil's house plants and wearing Queen Elizabeth masks to get a squeal or two out of Phil. He had never done anything this extreme, and Phil liked to think he wouldn't.

Then, Phil's mind went to the worst option of the three: That the intruder, was in fact, a real intruder, and that Dan might be hurt, or worse, dead. A wave of fear and pain rushed over Phil. He tried to shake the thoughts away, especially the last one, but to no avail. Dan was Phil's best friend, and the closest thing to being family as possible without being biologically related.

Phil had reached Dan's room again, and this time the door was all the way shut, so Phil did not have the option of sneaking into the room all stealth like, and catching the intruder in the act, being the hero, and avenging Dan's death. His hands were trembling like crazy. He almost dropped the knife, AND his phone multiple times. "Clumsy oaf." Phil thought to himself.

He heard sirens in the distance, and spoke into the receiver to the operator.

"I hear sirens," he said, "Are they for me?"

"I can't be sure, sir, we have a lot of officers out tonight, since it is Halloween. Sit tight, they will be there as soon as they can."

Phil debated whether or not he should listen to the operator. If this was a real intruder, he had no chance of beating him down. If Dan really was dead, what was left for Phil to do? There was no one to save. Even though Dan was four years younger than Phil, he was so brave, and put on a much scarier front than Phil did. Every time Phil tried to be manly in a video, or in real life, Dan would just laugh and say "Oooh, so manly, Phil."

Phil started weeping silently. He was starting to admit defeat. His mind could not think of anything other than Dan being hurt. Then, almost instantly, a wave of anger, adrenaline, and power rushed over Phil. Dan was possibly dead at the hands of this intruder, and now the intruder was mocking Dan; being in his room, going through his things, and thinking he was free. But he wasn't. Phi had never thought this way about anyone before, at least not at this level of intensity.

With all the strength he could muster, and that he hadn't lost in the midst of all the worrying about Dan, he reached his foot up, swung it back and kicked at the door. A giant hole appeared in the wood. Phil angled his body more towards the handle, and kicked again, and a third time. He kicked twelve times, and on the thirteenth time, the door opened, coming off its hinges.

"Sir, what was that noise?" the operator said.

"I kicked the door of my flat mate's door down." Phil told her, surprisingly casually.

"Mr. Lester, did you go towards the intruder?!"

"Yes, I believe he hurt Dan… Mr. Howell."

"Sir, the police have arrived at your flat, please do not go any further."

Sure enough, Phil heard three loud knocks at the door.

"Police! Open the door!"

Phil, still full of adrenaline, was breathing heavily. He started to walk away to go open the door for the officers, but then he heard a noise from underneath Dan's bed. Phil turned around, holding the knife out in front of him. He saw a figure start to emerge, and all of Phil's adrenaline was gone. He was back in panic mode. The figure stood up, and dusted off dirt and dust that lay on his jeans. It stood straight up, head snapping back, and a strand of brown fringe remained in front of its face.

Phil lowered the knife, but was still trembling. His eyes grew wide, and his breath got short and raspy.

The figure spoke.

"Really, Phil? You called 999? That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello? Sir? Mr. Lester? Hello? Are you there…" the operator's voice became white noise in Phil's head.

His hands were shaking as well as his knees. He had a blank stare on his face, a stare that the local deer would be proud of.

"D-Dan…" was all he could muster out of his mouth.

"Yeah, you freaking turnip. It's me. So you can calm down, now."

Dan grabbed the phone from Phil's hands, and put it to his ear.

"Yes, hello, operator? Hi. This is Daniel Howell, Phil's roommate. Yes… No I didn't just get here. It was me… Yes it was a Halloween prank… No, I… Yes Phil is here. He always overreacts like this. He gets paranoid easily… Umm… Yes the cops are still here… Yes I will tell them… Yes I am very sorry… Okay… You have a good night too ma'am. Thank you… Yes I will be safe." Dan hung up, and tried to hand the phone back to Phil. "Here. I'm going to go let the cops know that everything is okay."

Phil did not take the phone. He was still staring and shaking. Suddenly, he dropped the knife, and it stuck into the floor, and it wobbled slightly for a few seconds. Phil then slowly walked over to Dan's bed, the same one that Dan had been hiding under just a few minutes before, and laid down on top of the covers, stiff as a board.

"Uhh… I'll be right back." Dan left the room to go talk to the officers. Phil had turned away from the door, and began to cry. Softly at first: crocodile tears. Then, when he couldn't hear Dan anymore, the serious water works began. You could fill a pool with the amount of tear stains that were getting on Dan's sheets. Phil curled up into a ball, grabbing his knees with the curves of his elbows.

"Calm down, Phil" he tried to tell himself. "Calm down."  
He did not calm down.  
Phil did not calm down at all.

Phil heard the shuffling of Dan's feet coming back towards the room, and Phil got up and shut the door of the room with a loud SLAM! He then slid his back down the back of the door, until he was sitting right up against it. He felt a slight push against him when Dan tried to open the door.

"Phil, open the door."  
Phil was quiet in ways of words, but he still was crying. The sniffles and the heavy breathing gave it away.  
"Phillip Michael Lester, open the damn door."  
"No." Phil managed to say.  
"Phil, it's MY bedroom. Let me in."

Phil, as mad as he was, knew he couldn't keep Dan out of his own room. He scooted a few inches to the left until he was no longer blocking the doorway.

"Fine. Come in." Phil buried his head into his knees, and hugged them with his arms. Dan opened the door slowly so as not to hit Phil by accident.

"Phil… Why are you crying?" Dan asked, shutting the door behind him. "It was just a Halloween prank. I'm not dead. I'm fine. See? Look."

Phil did not look. He kept his head down, still shaking like a Chihuahua in winter.  
"Jesus, Phil, did I really scare you that badly?" Dan sat down in front of Phil, and crossed his legs.

"Dan…" Phil said, his voice muffled.  
"Yeah?"

Phil then unwrapped his arms from his knees. He lifted his head up, and was now staring his flat mate right in the eyes. Dan's face softened when he saw how red Phil's eyes were.

"Phil… Mate, look, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to go this far." Dan placed his hand on Phil's knee. "I admit that.'  
"Dan…" Phil said again, and placed his hand on top of Dan's. He then did something Dan was not expecting: Phil grabbed Dan's hand, and pushed it away forcefully. He then stood up, head still down, and walked out of the room, slamming the door once again.

Phil stepped into the hallway, and walked towards the front door. He patted his pockets to make sure that his keys and wallet were still in there, grabbed his phone from the counter, where Dan had put it when he was talking to the cops, and went out the front door. He locked it, and made his way down the stair towards the lobby as quickly as he could.

"Phil, where are you going?!" Dan had come out of the apartment as well, running to try and catch up to Phil. Phil had reached the lobby quicker than he had realized, and went out the main door to the street.

"I'm going to Zoe and Alfie's party." Phil said, walking hastily down the road towards the underground.  
"Okay, but it's the other way!" Dan yelled.  
"…Damn it." Phil said under his breath. He turned around, walked back towards the apartment complex and in the other direction. The streets were buzzing with children dressed as Iron Man, and Elsa. Witches and Doctors. They all gazed up at Phil, who stood at 6 foot 2, as if he was a real lion. Phil barely noticed, and he bumped into a few children on accident.

"Wait, I'm coming with you!" Dan called out, running behind Phil.  
"No." Phil said, walking faster.  
"Phil, we need to talk about this. I'm coming with you. We can talk on the train."

Phil stopped in the middle of the road, bumping into yet another child. "Sorry." He muttered under his breath.

Dan caught up with him. He had a make-shift Ash Ketchum costume on. His Pikachu backpack flung from side to side as he ran.

"Dan, go home. We can talk later, but I don't want to even see you right now, let alone have an in depth conversation with you. I'm going to Zoe and Alphie's by myself."  
"I got invited too, you know, Phil."

"Yes, but, unlike you, I'm not the worst person in the world, and I deserve to go have fun for a few hours."

Dan was not paying attention to what Phil was saying, and began to walk ahead. "You coming or not?" Dan called back to Phil, who had not moved.

"…Not." Phil said to himself. He began to walk back to the house, while keeping on looking back behind him. Dan was so far not following him back to the apartment.

Phil just wanted to get away from Dan, and not think about him for a while. Dan was responsible for all the hurt and pain Phil was feeling right now, and Phil just wanted not to think about it. He wanted to do something he hardly ever did. And he was going to do it, even if he had to be alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil bumbled back up the stairs, and back into the apartment, and back into the kitchen. He back tracked multiple times, his brain not making up its mind of whether or not it wanted to go find Dan again.

"No, Phil," he said to himself, "You don't need him."

Phi was beginning to feel so flustered and angry in his heavy knit lion costume, that he couldn't think or see straight. He began to pull and tug to get the costume off so fast, that part of it ripped. The zipper got stuck and the pant legs wrapped around his ankles.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Phil screamed, shoving the costume into the bin. He was now standing in boxers and a white t shirt in the middle of the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the shelf, and a bottle of half drinken red wine from the cupboard. He sunk down along the outside of the counter tops, with his knees up by his chest.

The bottle made a *pop* sound when Phil pulled the cork out of it

"Dan, you fucking idiot," Phil said, as he poured wine into the glass until it was almost full. He drank it like it was water. Even though he hated the taste of wine, he didn't care. He poured glass, another one, and another, and one more still. It didn't take him longer than 10 minutes to finish off the bottle. Thankfully, he was sitting next to the wine cupboard under the sink already, so he didn't have to move. He pulled it open, and grabbed the first bottle his fingers touched. Phil, even though he was 6 foot 2, was a bit of a lightweight when it came to alcohol, but his whole body had seemed to not care, and nothing about opening a second bottle seemed like a bad idea.

"Dan..." Phil opened the second bottle, and took the biggest swig he had yet. "Why don't you understand why I react the way I do in these situations?"

Two more swigs.

"Because you never fucking talk to me."

Phil looked up, startled, that someone answered him. He hadn't heard Dan come in.

"Dan?"

"Again...Who else would it be?" Dan sat down next to Phil, only with his legs crossed. "Gimme some of that"

"Get your own glass."

Dan rolled his eyes, stood up again, and grabbed his own glass from the cabinet.  
He sat back down, and Phil started to pour him a glass.

Phil glanced at the empty bottle already on the floor, and then at the one in his hands.  
"I already finished one." he said.

"I can see that." Some of the wine spilled before it made it to the glass, and onto Dan's jeans.

"Sorry." Phil said, taking another swig.

Dan shrugged. "I really don't care at this point... So you necked that whole thing, did you?"

Phil shifted in his spot on the floor. "No. It was the half full one."

"But you hate wine" Dan took a sip of his wine as well.  
"Not tonight, I don't." Phil glanced at the bottle, which was already almost gone.  
"You don't feel drunk at all?"  
"No..." Phil answered "Maybe they're defective"

Dan glanced at Phil, and chuckled. He reached up to Phil's hair, and flicked a piece of fluff off his fringe.

"What happened to your costume?" Dan asked, brushing fluff off Phil's shoulder as well. Phil pulled away.  
"Just... Drink." Phil said. He scooted a bit further away from Dan, and put the bottle in between them.

"I'm sorry." Dan said, running his hands through his hair.  
"I don't want to talk about it right now, Dan. Seriously, just drink."  
"You never do."

Phil ignored him, not saying another word on the subject.

Dan sighed. He felt so guilty, and he really wanted to tell Phil how he felt, but he gave up. He wasn't going to make Phil feel any worse than he already had.

"Fine." Dan said, turning the whole bottle upside down into the glass, emptying it. "How many bottles do we have left?"

Phil opened the cupboard next to him, and peeked inside.  
"Five."

Dan chuckled, necked his wine, and laid his head in Phil's lap, staring up at the ceiling.  
"Happy Halloween."


	4. Chapter 4: The Morning After

**AN: My uploading schedule has obviously changed from Wednesday night to Monday afternoons! It worked better with my schedule (and my sanity level). Instead of writing during the day, and posting at night, I am now writing during the day, and posting the morning after. I write better during the night anyway. :) This chapter is where it gets a LITTLE raunchy, but still no sex. Tune in NEXT week for that ;)**

 _ **ALSO TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO CURSING AND BILE.**_

Phil normally loved the sun. He became bitter when the summer months came to an end, and the rain began. But, on the morning of November first, when the sun shone through the crack in the curtains, Phil found himself wishing that every single cloud that ever existed would come to London.

The sun is 92,960,000 miles from Earth. 149,604,618.24 kilometers. And it had perfect aim. A single beam of light hit Phil right in the turned around in his bed, away from the window, and buried his face in the pillows. Phil's whole body felt like it had been sat on by a Snorlax. He couldn't move a part of his body with out _another_ part of his body hurting.

Phil had not been this hungover in a very long time. The last time it was this painful, he had just met Dan back in 2009. That was the only other time, now that Phil was thinking about it. Phil wondered what is was about being around Dan that made him drink so much. " _Probably because he drives me absolutely insane_ " Phil thought.

Phil groaned and stretched. He managed to flip over onto his back. He stretched his arms out wide, in an attempt to work out some of the kinks in his body. Phil expected that it would hurt, and he expected the sun to shine through the window, but he did not expect his arms to be stopped in their path before being able to stretch a complete 180 degrees. By another body.

Phil turned to the side to see Dan still sleeping. Phil's eyes widened so far, that the local deer could probably take a course or two from him.

"Oh no..." Phil rubbed his face with both palms, in an attempt to wake himself up from this obvious nightmare. "God... no" When he took his hands away, and looked back over, there Dan was. In real life.

Phil pulled the covers off himself, and found himself to be completely stark nude.

"Shit." He placed one hand on top of Dan's shoulder, and shook. "Dan, wake up."  
"Mmm..." Dan protested, and turned around in the bed, away from Phil.

Phil rolled his eyes as he got out of bed. He noticed his boxers and white T-shirt from the night before, crumpled on the floor in the corner. Phil felt sick. Sore, and sick. He walked over to the wardrobe in front of Dan's side of the bed, and pulled out a pair of pajamas. He slipped them on as fast as he could, and then tried to wake Dan up again. He noticed Dan's jeans and boxers were also on the floor.

"Oh, my god." Phil picked them up, and threw them on top of Dan.  
"Dan, wake up, you waffle!""  
"Ugh, what?" Dan replied groggily.  
"Please tell me you remember what happened last night."  
"Uhh... I remember drinking if that's what you mean."  
"No. That's not what I mean."

Dan rubbed his eyes, and blinked awake. He saw the clothes that Phil had thrown on top of him.

"I mean, what led to your clothes being on my floor, and you being naked in my bed... To us BOTH being naked in my bed?!"  
"What...?" Dan replied, still not fully awake.

He flung the covers off himself, and saw that he was, too, in fact naked.  
"DAN! STOP!" Phil half screeched. "PUT YOUR PANTS ON"  
"Oh, bloody hell!" Dan grabbed the blanket and pulled it back over himself. He then put is boxers on while still under the covers.

"Did we...?" Dan continued.  
"I don't know."  
"Oh, my God."  
"My words exactly"  
"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick"

Dan flung the covers back off, and all but flew out of the bed. He ran across the hall to the bathroom, barely missing the toilet when chunks of horrid smelling bile came spewing from his was shaking, and heaving when Phil rushed behind him.

"Dan! Oh my god, are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?"  
"Just... Leave me alone for a bit, yeah?"  
"You sure?"

Dan gestured Phil out with a wave of his hand. He was sweating like mad, and Phil wanted to stay, but he knew, even with how Dan would never let his lack of pride show, he would tell Phil if he really needed help.

"Alright then..." Phil closed the door and made his way down the hall and into the kitchen. He saw 3 empty bottles of wine on the counter. He grabbed them, and tossed them into the recycling bin. He then saw that the wine glasses had been left on the floor where he and Dan had been sitting the night before, as well as another wine bottle. He bent over to grab them, and instantly felt sick due to bending upside down.

"Ughh..." Phil grunted as he grabbed the glasses. He placed them in the sink, and turned on the water. He grabbed the sponge and some dish soap, and began to wash the glasses.

"Do you feel nauseous, too?"  
Phil spun around and saw Dan, who was holding his stomach with one hand, and had his other hand placed on the wall for balance.  
"Yeah, but probably not as badly as you. Do you need help?"  
"No. I'm just going to the couch. Can you grab me a wattle bottle, though?"

Phil nodded, and Dan swayed his way over to the couch, and his favorite sofa crease. Phil finished washing the glasses, and then went over to the fridge to grab Dan a water bottle.

"Phil?" Dan called.  
"I'm coming, you whiny cow. Hold on."  
"Shut up! Why is there a wine bottle tucked into the couch?"

Phil closed the refrigerator door, threw the wine bottle that was on the floor in the bin, and went into the lounge. He saw Dan holding up yet another empty bottle.

"Jesus, that makes five bottles. Did we really go through five bottles of wine?"  
"Ugh... I guess."  
"Here." Phil placed the wattle bottle on the end table near the couch, and grabbed the wine bottle from Dan's hands."  
"Thanks."

Phil nodded and took the last wine bottle to the kitchen, and tossed it in the bin.  
"We need to figure this shit out." Phil said, as he walked back into the lounge.  
"Wow. You actually want to talk about something? I'm shocked." Dan replied in a snarky tone, opening the water bottle.  
"Dan. Stop. This is serious."

Dan took a swig of water, looking up as Phil was making his way over to the other side of the couch.  
"Sorry. You just never want to talk about this kind of stuff. You're right, though. Let's talk."

Phil sat down, and slumped into the corner of the couch, covering his face with his hands. He could not get comfortable.  
"What do you remember?" he asked Dan.  
"I told you. I remember drinking. That's all."

Phil sighed. "Yeah that's about the extent of my memory too."  
"Jesus..." Dan grabbed his stomach  
"Are you going to be sick again?"  
"I'm probably going to be sick for the rest of my life...What the hell happened?"

Phil shrugged, still trying to find a good position on the couch "After five bottles of wine, I'm surprised we can remember our own names."  
Dan laughed, but that hurt his stomach even more.

"Does...um... anything else hurt?" Phil asked.  
"Just my whole body." Dan replied. "What about you?"

Phil turned away, embarrassed of what he was thinking about. Phil's rectum hurt so much, that it hurt to sit down comfortably. He began scooting, and swerving on the couch to try and conceal it; to try and find a comfortable sitting position, but it was proving to be near impossible.

"Phil, are you okay? Can you sit still for five seconds?" Dan asked.  
"Uhhh..." Phil responded, not knowing how to tell Dan what he was feeling.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like hours, but was probably only about twenty seconds.

"My bum hurts." Phil said.  
"Yeah, mine does too. My entire body hurts." Dan repeated.  
"Dan..."

More silence, as Dan's comprehension skills finally caught up with him. He went white, red, and green in the face, somehow all at once.

"Oh, I'm definitely going to be sick again." Dan stood up, and ran back to the bathroom.

Phil could not sit anymore; he had to stand up as well. He could hear Dan yelling curse words in between breaths.

"FUCKING HELL. OH MY FUCKING GOD. PHIL YOU TWAT. SHIT..."

Phil sympathized, and wanted to help, but knew that if he went back there, that would probably only make things worse. He began pacing back and forth between the lounge, hallway and kitchen.

"What happened last night, Dan...? What the hell did we do?"


End file.
